Journey into Islam

Asalaamu walaikom warahmatulahi wabaraktu,

I am a female who was born and raised in Canada, and I am a Muslim. But I wasn't always a Muslim.

I grew up in a small town in Nova Scotia. The population was majority Caucasian, so I wasn't truly aware of any other cultures or religions. I grew up seeing things I probably shouldn't have seen. Many around me were violent, alcoholic, drug addicted, and incarcerated. I even watched my own father go to jail, I watched him beat my mom, do drugs. By the age of 8, I had seen and been through more than the average adult would have or should have seen.

When I was 10, my mother, her new husband, my brother and myself moved to Toronto. I remember seeing so many people of different colours, with different names, speaking different languages. I really thought it was neat to have so much diversity even within one classroom. I was told by my parents to stay away from the coloured skinned people since they were not good people and would get me into trouble. As a naive child, I listened. I always feared getting near them. I studied in a Catholic school and was baptized roman catholic. All of my friends were white, and I ignored the rest. I guess you could say my ignorance continued into my adulthood.

In regards to my faith, as a Catholic, I really did believe in God. I look at the human body and all of its complexities, the world that was built so beautifully, how could there not be some higher being to create all of this? What I didn't understand was that in order to be a Catholic, I had to have a ''blind faith'' meaning it was wrong to question. How could the father be God, Jesus be God and the holy spirit be God, yet there is only one God? How could Jesus (who apparently is God) die on the cross and be killed by humans? How come the bible says women should cover their hair when praying to God, and church was mandatory on Sundays and we were to keep chaste, yet everyone I knew would not do any of that, and were much happier doing sinful things? I remember trying to speak to a priest, and he told me the bible was written by humans, so there are mistakes and we need to be mindful of what we follow for not all of it is correct. Religion had its flaws, and I sure wasn't going to devote my life to God if He couldn't prove Himself to me. Why would I worship a book written by humans who didn't have the divine message? I had given up on religion, life was too short to be boring and devoted.

When I was accepted to university, it was an hour away from my parents, requiring me to move away from home. I guess this is when you leave your ''nest'' and grow into your own person. I was never into drinking and partying, which is what residence at universities is all about. I remember many nights staying in while everyone went out, or leaving the parties because I just felt awkward there. That is when I began to realize there were many other people who also stayed inside instead of partying. Finally, a group I can relate to. Some were from Saudi Arabia, some from Pakistan, Lebanon, and parts of Africa. What impressed me was the men would cook for the group, and showed tremendous amounts of respect to the women. The guys adopted me as their little sister and ensured I was always taken care of and happy. MashAllah such wonderful people. But a few times a day, they would all gather together and sing some prayer in arabic. I remember sitting and waiting for them to finish and just loving the sound of it. I later learned it was the Quran being recited. It occurred to me that these people were Muslim. I grew up being told that they were the ''cancer of the earth'' and all deserve to die because they beat their wives and force them to cover up. I didn't see anything like that in my group of friends. I was treated like a princess. I loved my friends so much that I even tried fasting with them through Ramadan. Truly, I enjoyed doing it because they would cook such amazing dinners for when we broke our fast, I never tasted much more than kraft dinner and hot dogs, so this international food was so tasty. I also enjoyed being around all of the laughter, the kindness and the guilt-free university lifestyle.

My friend asked me one day why I didn't follow my own religion. I was very happy to tell him why. Mostly, I needed proof. Some sort of proof that God IS real, that His messages are real and that I should be living according to these books written by humans. He said that Islam may be the answer. I laughed at him, and said to prove it to me. He brought me a few short books to read, one discussing the scientific proof in the Quran. I remember reading about parts of the brain and their functions, a human embryo and its stages, the mountains, the weather, all of these scientific facts quoted from the Quran. I couldn't believe a book written 1400 years ago by an illiterate man in the middle of the desert could say any of this. I asked then for a Quran to see if those quotes were really in there. I used 3 or 4 Qurans just to check. I was in shock. How could this book have so much science in it? How could it have been written about conception and how a baby appears in the womb even in the early stages without an ultrasound machine? Unless God said this Himself. How could an illiterate man write all of this on his own? Unless it was Good saying it Himself. I was so impressed and even more impressed that the similarities between Judaism, Christianity and Islam were very similar, except now I have scientific proof! Could this be the true religion? I couldn't possibly accept Islam, my parents would kill me!

I sat beside my bed on my knees that night and prayed to God to help me and guide me. I swear to you, wallahi, that night, I am almost positive I was still awake, and this angel surrounded in white light saying I was on the right path. I remember feeling as if all my skin was numb. I was scared and in disbelief. I laid in my bed the entire night thinking how mad my parents would be. But, would I have to tell them?

The next morning, I called my friend and asked her to take to me to mosque. I wanted to take my Shahada to become Muslim. I remember putting on the hijab over my head and that felt very odd to me, but I immediately also felt very beautiful. It was a rainy and gloomy day in November. I took my Shahada, and while I was with the imam, the sun came out of nowhere and began shining brightly in the sky. He told me it was a great sign. That Allah swt only picks so many people to be on the right path.

I went off to class that day...feeling like the rest of my life was about to change...and boy was I right